Tuesday, September 22, 2009

10 Life and Money Lessons Learned from Immigrant Parents

My parents were both born in Southern Italy where unemployment is high and quality of life is superb. My mother, Annunziata, made it to the 7th grade and my father, Tommaso, has the equivalent of a technical high school diploma. Both of my parents immigrated to the US in 1975 and are currently debt free, own their own two-family home, and have plenty of cash in savings. They are, in many ways, leading the American dream – by not adopting the principles of American consumerism.

My parents have taught me many lessons about saving money and leading a high quality life via being practical, but the following ten lessons were most influential in shaping how I lead my life as a thirty-something today. Some of the lessons are what would be described as old school and some may be overly simplistic, but the hard truth is that each lesson works!
Lesson 1: "Save like you have no job and 6 mouths to feed."

For my parents, saving was akin to a religion. They didn't save 10 or 20 percent of their paycheck; rather they saved close to half of their take home pay. I suspect the urge to save is an instinctual feeling for many recent immigrants who arrive in a new country with no job and no home. The ability to save such a large percentage of what they made was dependent on controlling how much they spent each week. If you live well below your means you can save a large percentage of your weekly income.
Lesson 2: "Look for non-material ways to feel rich."

My parents have never owned a fancy car or purchased luxury clothes or items. My parents hardly dine out or buy pre-cooked or packaged food. Rather, Annunziata and Tommaso find true fulfillment in family, great food, wine, and visiting the country where they were born. My parents appreciate nice, material things, but they are not defined or fulfilled via acquiring the aforementioned things.
Lesson 3: "Use your network for help."

This means finding an uncle who does plumbing and a cousin who is a paralegal at a law firm. My parent’s family network has helped me, personally, with home improvement, legal advice, emergency situations (taking care of babies or a ride to the hospital), etc. If I had to pay a stranger every time I needed something done in my life, I would not only be broke, but I would lack real friends and family. The real life lesson here is to nurture family relationships and not rush to pay someone to do something for you. (There are other ways to reward people without a large check).
Lesson 4: “What’s a credit card?”

If you look at my dad’s wallet on a typical day it would resemble George Costanza’s wallet from Seinfeld – full of notes and papers and a good amount of cash. My father pays for everything in cash, and if he doesn’t have the cash, he will either not purchase the item or go to the bank and take out money. My parents have had very little credit card activity over the last 30 years, and I think it’s a key component to their practical lifestyle – (that is to say, you can’t buy stuff if you don’t have the cash!).
Lesson 5: “You can’t count on your job – always have other sources of income.”

My parents bought a two family home shortly after arriving in the US. The logic behind purchasing a two family home centered on having a monthly reoccurring revenue stream outside of a normal job. Sure, they would have liked a single family home with a larger yard and without constant maintenance in their rental unit, but they like the cash more! Do you have cash coming in every month outside of your normal job? If not, you may not be as financially secure as you think you are!
Lessons 6: “Do it yourself.”

My parents are both incredibly crafty. My dad performs his own car repairs, produces homemade wine, renovates his own home (including plumbing and electrical), cuts his own grass, and more. My mother makes all of her own food, cans tomatoes and vegetables, sews, cleans, and grows and tends a garden, among many other things. My parents have often told me that if the world were to fall into disrepair they would have no problem living their life. (They are independent and self sufficient).
Lesson 7: “Trust your family, be wary of everyone else.”

This may sound like a line out of the Godfather, but the fact that American society is based on a capitalist operating principle will motivate everyone from the shop owner to the general contractor to make as much money as possible from you, and there are no safety nets when it comes to preserving the wealth you’ve worked hard to acquire. This life lesson is akin to former Intel CEO Andy Groove’s line: “Only the Paranoid Survive.”
Lesson 8: “You are not defined by your job or fame.”

A job or career usually defines most adults in Anglo-Saxon cultures. Ask any typical American about their life, and the narrative usually centers on their work or job. If you ask the typical person from Southern Italy about their life, they’ll tell you stories about their family, homeland, last name, daughters, sons, food they grow, or wine they make. (I swear this isn’t connected to the high unemployment rate.) My parents are defined by who they are and not the job they do for someone else or the amount of money in their paycheck each week. This is a powerful principle to live by, and once you truly embrace it, the byproduct can be quite liberating.
Lesson 9: “Think big picture.”

Do you ever become overwhelmed by a problem you can’t, for the life of you, see past the immediate future? Maybe you’re worried about your job or if little Timmy will get accepted to Harvard in a few years, for example? These are illustrations of “small picture” thinking, and it can handicap many individuals from getting through tough moments in their life. Like many immigrants, my parents had to somehow block out the immediacy of not having much when they arrived in the US, in order think long term about the type of life they would someday lead.
Lesson 10: “Ignore your neighbors.”

I’m convinced that many individuals lead their life according to the goings-on of their neighbors. For example, if Doris next door leases a shiny new German sedan, you may be compelled to question the worth or legitimacy of your 10-year-old Ford sitting in the driveway. If, by the miracle of home refinancing, Doris adds another 800 square feet to her over-leveraged center hall colonial, you may all of sudden feel cramped in your tiny Cape-Cod-style home. What is my parents’ opinion of neighborhood goings-on? Make friends, and be a good neighbor, but don’t follow the neighbor into debt and materialism.
By: This is a guest post from Vince Scordo. Check out these other great articles from Scordo.com

SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SUCCESS

Introduction:
Everything that happens to us happens in purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and success.

I remember watching Patch Adams – its my favorite movie, actually. Its one great film that will help you improve yourself. Hunter “patch” Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he decided to seek for medical attention and voluntarily admitted himself in a psychiatric ward. His months of stay in the hospital led him to meeting different kinds of people. Sick people in that matter. He met a catatonic, a mentally retarded, a schizophrenic and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he has to get back on track. He woke up one morning realizing that after all the failure and pains he has gone through, he still want to become the a doctor. He carries with himself a positive attitude that brought him self improvement and success. He didn’t only improved himself, but also the life of the people around him and the quality of life. Did he succeed? Needless to say, he became the best damn doctor his country has ever known.

So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips, friends…
*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.

*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.

*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.

*Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

*When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement.

We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.
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TAKE THE RISK AND ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

Life is About Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?


There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.


Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.


Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.


Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:

· Get as many information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

· Identify and create options.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

· Trust yourself and make that decision.


Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Conclusion:
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
http://mikoas.ning.com

EVERY PROBLEM AS A SOLUTION

Introduction:
How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions.

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three;
try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.


Number five;
it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

Finally, So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.